Now, my title here might be as tired a thought as “Who Would Win in a Fight…?”, but by thunder, much like fictional mettle being tested, when the question is music, we simply must test it, or our lives are smaller for the lack of answer. And ol’ Igor is back, baby, here to do some science to some tunes with you. On. With. The. Shoooow!
The Shocking Miss Emerald
Well, any good concert eventually has you lose your mind on the dance floor, but first, we gotta build up to that. We need style, we need class, we need to swing, baby!
Caro Emerald is just the lady to get the head bobbin’, and the feet tappin’- so much so that after studying and practicing singing for much of her life, the producers, writers, and the composers of the first demo she sang for (a little piece called “Back it Up”) all decided so strongly that her voice was perfect for it, that when record label after record label said no to picking her up, they created their own label together. Today, Grandmono Records is still going strong in bringing the world their unique blend of jazz, swing, latin, and Caro Emerald.
Marvel fans might even already know her thanks to Agent Carter. Everyone else: I know I’ll see you cats on the dance floor soon.
What follows style at a good concert? ATTITUDE. And ho boy, have this scraggly Jew from Jersey and theoretical physicist got it. Danny Sexbang belts out the power ballads and croons like he was bitten by a radioactive 1980s rock documentary, and Ninja Brian has my favorite keyboarding skills next to Daft Punk themselves. Yeah, I said it. Ninja Sex Party rock in ways that would make Twisted Sister weep for joy (and in similarly, probably radioactively enhanced not safe for work ways: see also “No Reason Boner”, “Buttsex Goldilocks”, “Dragon Slayer”, et cetera, et cetera…). They’re even pretty ding dong funny.
Try them. You will like them, just not around your parents, or young children. Or impressionable fanboys. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Ompa til du dør
The Jackal Kaizer, Thunder Kaizer, Mink Kaizer, Thunder Kaizer, Omen Kaizer, and Killmaster Kaizer brought the Kaizers Orchestra to the climax of our show, and I for one, am sad to see them go (as a group). But fear not, true believers! On the internet, nothing is ever truly deleted (and they’re still sellin’ music!).
Why should you care about our Norwegian main event? Well, other than being able to rock so hard that even their almost purely narrative style of songwriting runs from stories of the Italian Mafia to drug use (and having an ongoing story from album to album), it culminated in their “Violeta, Violeta” trilogy; a story of a daughter stolen from her mother by her father (who had first convinced everyone her mother was insane), and how the mother and daughter could still visit each other in their dreams… and how that turned out for dear ol’ dad- it also meant that their musical stylin’ ran from hard rock to funk to the Norwegian rock answer to blues on guitar, concertina, piano, oil drum…
Do y’self a favor, maestro, and watch a true band for the ages.
Tribe of Force
Many bands for many concerts will give you a slower finish. For this concert, I say Killjoys, Make Some Noise! To round things out, please meet Van Canto, a German heavy metal a cappella band (plus drummer; as they say themselves, “…we left the drums what they are, as we do not do disco pop. And having a drummer like Bastian it would be a shame not to let him play.”).
They’re even fellow nerds; their piece “Magic Taborea” is based on the band’s favorite MMORPG. Let them rock your faces off.
For those about to rock, we salute you.
Igor, Possibly a Box