The Best Coffee You’re Not Drinking

Friends, we here at Malice Corp. have a respectable team of booze hounds: as Ben Franklin said, “Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy.”  But we are NERDS, dear reader.  Gamers, writers, moviegoers, computer techs, Netflix binges, artists.  Ours is a noble tradition that needs to spread its wings to their fullest everywhere it goes.  The humble Java bean also needs representation! COFFEE!

The Tragedy Shall End Here


  • Jamaica Blue Mountain/Flamstead Estate

I remember the first pure cup of Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee I ever had (none of that 0.00000001% blend crap, thank you very much).  That coffee that was spoken of almost reverently by those In The Know; that coffee that at the time was a whopping $42 per pound; drinking it felt, honestly, a little important.  My dear father brewed a pot the morning that I had to head straight to work after a holiday family get together, and yes, it was in a ceramic mug, and yes, that mug went with  me everywhere on shift that day.  I nursed that thing for five hours.  It was that good hot, and inevitably, cold.

Many of you may know and already enjoy this coffee, but this year Blue Mountain Coffee, Inc. brings us something a little extra special: they made a limited time deal with the Flamstead Estate- the very first recorded farm to produce coffee in Jamaica (back in 1764!) -to ship their coffee to all of us coffee lovers.  I had a cup a few days ago, and it was just as good as my first.  Balanced in every way.

  • Edgar’s Signature Blue Mountain Peaberry Blend

“Life is like a horse wearing a dress and smoking a pipe; hard to explain”

John Allison, Scary-Go-Round

Everything that pure blue mountain coffee has is encapsulated in Edgar’s Peaberry, and includes an almost smoked cherry-like fruit flavor to round it out.  Perfect cuppa.

  • Mystic Monk Coffee Cowboy Blend

Ever wanted to drink holy coffee?  Well, you still can’t.  But, you can enjoy coffee grown, roasted, and blended by Carmelite monks in Wyoming.   See, every monastery must choose the one vocation that they can use as a group to make money to pay the utility bills, taxes, et cetera.  The Mystic Monks chose coffee growing and roasting.  After their first attempt was roasted in a cast iron skillet and sold very well, well… history was made.  My favorite is their Cowboy Blend.  A happy medium between and dark, a little chocolaty, it’s a blend probably much better than cattle ropers (and rustlers) had in the Westward Expansion, but it always makes me want a slab of bacon, tin of beans, and a harmonica.  Or maybe just another cup.  I never learned harmonica.

A New York company founded by a former barista who took careful note of how many of his customers would come through the cafe doors every day and order the coffee with shots of espresso.  Clearly, the coffee wasn’t strong enough.  With hard work and the help of friends, he devised a blend (and roasting style) that he felt did the trick.  I know they don’t have nearly the following that any Jamaica Blue Mountain company does, but I hope they get it.  Their regular blend is the only dark, dark roast I’ve ever drank that still tastes smooth (…no matter how many tablespoons you use.  Heheh.).  They even small batch roast to order all of their coffee.

  • Taco Bell

Not a great source of coffee; but; a surprisingly good one.  Not to mention we all yearn for those magical times when we get our fast food, or we buy our gas, and by God, actually enjoy the coffee we find!  

Ever since they introduced their breakfast menu, Taco Bell has been serving us tacos, burritos, and arabica bean coffee!  Not robusta (the cheap stuff, and generally what you’re drinking when you’re thinking your coffee tastes weak or watery)!  Jamaican, cowboy monk, or New Yawk, no.  But a pleasant drink nonetheless.

Except For This; This Is Tragedy



IgorPossibly a Box

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